Crying Without Tears

This life is a gift.
Although I now feel was in the lowest point in life, I know my life is a gift.

A secret that only me and God knows..:


I fight myself and even the Lord for my selfishness.
Trying to choose the life that looks safe and fine.
Forget the patience and obedience and then replace it with pleasure in vain.

Feel regret?

Big YES !
I feel so regret for the way that I've chosen, I got lost and stuck and seems can't go back to the way home.
I call it a failure!

I thought, there's no one who heard me screaming and crying.
Then I just keep the silent and pain in my heart.
People thought I was fine and happy. but I'm not.
No one knows what happened to me.

But I know I am not alone.
There is Jesus beside me. He is the only one who stays near me when all this life is so hard for me. He made me stronger and made me stand still when the storms of life attacked me repeatedly. He's the one who stay close to me , the girl who was full of sin and always hurt Him. What a great Love !

And now I know my life is still a gift.
A great gift that contains of happiness, sadness, successes, failures, victories, defeats, smiles and tears which are wrapped with God's love.

I believe with Jesus I can make it through the storms..
Promises to stop blaming myself and not to become weak because of the problems. Though I'm sad, I'll crying without tears.. because I know I definitely could pass it with Jesus !